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Eastern Carolina's Longest Running BDSM Education Group

Eastern Carolina's Longest Running BDSM Education Group

Each One, Teach One

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      • Negotiation Worksheet
      • How to Negotiate a BDSM Scene
      • What is a BDSM checklist?
      • How Do I Know When It’s Okay to Ask Someone to Play or Try Something?
      • How can I approach someone for a scene?
      • How to Handle Being Told β€œNo”
      • How Do I Know When It’s Okay to Ask Someone to Play or Try Something?
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Negotiation Worksheet

πŸ“ BDSM Scene Negotiation Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help both partners clearly communicate expectations, limits, and needs before a scene.


πŸ”Ή 1. Basic Info

Scene Date/Location: _______________________________
Participants’ Names (Scene Names):
Top: ____________________
Bottom: ____________________

Experience Level (circle one):
πŸ”˜ New to BDSM πŸ”˜ Some Experience πŸ”˜ Very Experienced


πŸ”Ή 2. Scene Type & Intention

☐ Light Play
☐ Trying something new
☐ Full/Intense Scene
☐ Roleplay or D/s dynamic
☐ Sexual elements involved?
β€ƒβ€ƒβ˜ Yesβ€ƒβ€ƒβ˜ Noβ€ƒβ€ƒβ˜ Maybe (negotiate clearly)

What are we hoping to get out of this scene?




πŸ”Ή 3. Activities & Limits

Interested Activities (check all that apply):
☐ Impact (spanking, flogging, caning)
☐ Bondage (rope, cuffs, chains)
☐ Sensation play (wax, ice, claws, etc.)
☐ Roleplay or protocol
☐ Power exchange / D/s dynamic
☐ Humiliation / degradation
☐ Sensual play
☐ Breath control
☐ Other: ____________________________

Hard Limits (not allowed under any circumstances):


Soft Limits (maybe with the right context or more experience):


No-touch Zones (body parts that must not be touched):



πŸ”Ή 4. Physical & Emotional Considerations

Relevant health info (injuries, disabilities, meds, etc.):


Emotional triggers or sensitive areas to avoid:



πŸ”Ή 5. Safe Words / Signals

Verbal Safe Word System (choose one):
☐ Red = Stop
☐ Yellow = Slow down / check in
☐ Green = All good

Nonverbal signal (if gagged or non-verbal):



πŸ”Ή 6. Aftercare

Aftercare needs for the bottom:
☐ Water
☐ Blanket
☐ Quiet time
☐ Reassurance / cuddles
☐ Debrief
☐ Other: ____________________________

Aftercare needs for the top:
☐ Quiet time
☐ Space
☐ Check-in later
☐ None
☐ Other: ____________________________

How should we check in post-scene (next day)?
☐ Textβ€ƒβ˜ Callβ€ƒβ˜ In-personβ€ƒβ˜ No follow-up needed


πŸ”Ή 7. Final Agreement & Check-in

βœ… Do both parties understand and agree to everything listed above?
βœ… Is there enthusiastic consent for all activities planned?
βœ… Are both people sober, aware, and emotionally stable enough for this scene?

Any last questions or changes before starting?



✨ Remember: Consent is ongoing. Either person can pause or stop the scene at any time, for any reason. ✨

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