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Eastern Carolina's Longest Running BDSM Education Group

Eastern Carolina's Longest Running BDSM Education Group

Each One, Teach One

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      • Negotiation Worksheet
      • How to Negotiate a BDSM Scene
      • What is a BDSM checklist?
      • How Do I Know When It’s Okay to Ask Someone to Play or Try Something?
      • How can I approach someone for a scene?
      • How to Handle Being Told “No”
      • How Do I Know When It’s Okay to Ask Someone to Play or Try Something?
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Negotiation Worksheet

📝 BDSM Scene Negotiation Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help both partners clearly communicate expectations, limits, and needs before a scene.


🔹 1. Basic Info

Scene Date/Location: _______________________________
Participants’ Names (Scene Names):
Top: ____________________
Bottom: ____________________

Experience Level (circle one):
🔘 New to BDSM 🔘 Some Experience 🔘 Very Experienced


🔹 2. Scene Type & Intention

☐ Light Play
☐ Trying something new
☐ Full/Intense Scene
☐ Roleplay or D/s dynamic
☐ Sexual elements involved?
  ☐ Yes  ☐ No  ☐ Maybe (negotiate clearly)

What are we hoping to get out of this scene?




🔹 3. Activities & Limits

Interested Activities (check all that apply):
☐ Impact (spanking, flogging, caning)
☐ Bondage (rope, cuffs, chains)
☐ Sensation play (wax, ice, claws, etc.)
☐ Roleplay or protocol
☐ Power exchange / D/s dynamic
☐ Humiliation / degradation
☐ Sensual play
☐ Breath control
☐ Other: ____________________________

Hard Limits (not allowed under any circumstances):


Soft Limits (maybe with the right context or more experience):


No-touch Zones (body parts that must not be touched):



🔹 4. Physical & Emotional Considerations

Relevant health info (injuries, disabilities, meds, etc.):


Emotional triggers or sensitive areas to avoid:



🔹 5. Safe Words / Signals

Verbal Safe Word System (choose one):
☐ Red = Stop
☐ Yellow = Slow down / check in
☐ Green = All good

Nonverbal signal (if gagged or non-verbal):



🔹 6. Aftercare

Aftercare needs for the bottom:
☐ Water
☐ Blanket
☐ Quiet time
☐ Reassurance / cuddles
☐ Debrief
☐ Other: ____________________________

Aftercare needs for the top:
☐ Quiet time
☐ Space
☐ Check-in later
☐ None
☐ Other: ____________________________

How should we check in post-scene (next day)?
☐ Text ☐ Call ☐ In-person ☐ No follow-up needed


🔹 7. Final Agreement & Check-in

✅ Do both parties understand and agree to everything listed above?
✅ Is there enthusiastic consent for all activities planned?
✅ Are both people sober, aware, and emotionally stable enough for this scene?

Any last questions or changes before starting?



✨ Remember: Consent is ongoing. Either person can pause or stop the scene at any time, for any reason. ✨

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